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This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours
of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who
always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring
pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly
reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls
need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern.
This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re
at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys
who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where
the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends,
for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled,
and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours
painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was
a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted
the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy
she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against
the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also
for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the
two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying
each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you
were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem
to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have
observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion
I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy,
but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date”
or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me,
I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.”
Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to
sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t
figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to
sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t
last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the
nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are
single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick
of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department
store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all
the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades,
my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication
is coming.
I'm not sure of the author of this but I'd like to give credit to whoever originally authored this and on behalf off the nice
guys -Thank you
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